Kiyowara redefined the end associated with the relationship with Patrick from failure to rest from working with their alternatives and proceeded contact as co-parents. Buddies in her own poly community “reminded” her that it had been maybe not failure but alternatively the termination of a period, supporting her redefinition. Such reinforcement permitted these alternative definitions to simply just take in more gravity that is social ultimately be solidified as poly social norms that accept the ends of relationships and encourage former enthusiasts to stay buddies.
For other people, the termination of a poly relationship retained the taint of failure within the sense that is conventional. Some relationships end with such acrimony that remaining friends is neither desirable nor feasible although poly community norms encourage people to remain friends with former lovers. Participants in this category had been prone to begin to see the end regarding the relationship as a deep failing, in both the traditional feeling of closing intimate and intimate relations, so when a poly failure for the reason that they broke community norms dictating proceeded friendly experience of previous fans as buddies.